December 22, 2007

Christmas is for Losers

So it's 3 days before Christmas, and i have no money, well actually negative money, and i have a feeling that i'm going to be sad, because every year i wake up and i'm sad! Don't know why, i just am! Theres always just one thing i want! But somehow i know that will be screwed up! I'm just destined to be sad on Christmas!

I can't understand why i am so dissatisfied with everything. What do i want!?!? Someone tell me what will fulfill my needs and wants. I know what i think will make me happy....but will it really. I feel like i'm a drug user. I take my drugs i think will make me happy, but in all reality its making things worst in the long run!

Being bipolar is so much worst than being depressed. It's like people who know only one thing so they aren't missing anything! Except the idea. For me i know how good it feels to be happy. How much energy i have. How high above life i am. I know how good laughing feels. So when i suddenly switch to depression mode, i'm like fuck! i Hate my life. I feel like the happy will never come back!

Come back Happy!
Britny