Todays Thought Process (9/22/2010)

Today has been a day of ideas, new directions, decisions. A day to reflect and move forward. Well I've been doing all this minus moving forward for about 5 hours now. I really think I need a life map. And I need to force myself to never stray from it. This map will tell me what I should focusing on at that point, than it will give me my goal for the next day, thus creating steps between to get to the next focus.

Now I'm not stupid, I don't necessarily need the steps written, just basic goals. I'll put it together after that. Kind of like a flow chart, scratch the map idea. I like that. I think my problem is that my mind is restless. Another terrible Geminian trait. I just want to move on before anything ever gets accomplished. I feel like I spend everyday analyzing myself and everyone around me. I love that about myself. I want to make it part of whatever career direction I decide to take.

Today I saved a praying mantis from getting run over, and now he's my new friend.

UGHHH!!!!

I'm so angry... I'm furious. I need to vent, to cry, to scream. I need to beat some one into a bloody pulp. I need to be a serial killer. I need to...not care anymore. The only positive aspect of this rage: a creative boost. That reminded me of WoW(World of Warcraft) for a brief second. Aspect...only one aspect active at a time. It's a rule...in WoW, and apparently in my life. Rage is the only thing that can show through, why can't I add another one? What's the problem? Why can't one person be so multifaceted as to throw together two aspects at one time. Okay, I'll take rage how about logic. Logic would overcome rage, thus leading to a final Problem-Solving aspect. Which in itself would just be like having a problem-solving aspect pop-up by itself.

Whatever.
I'm so finished with whatever i was trying to say.

So, what am i trying to say.

Does anyone really ever look at this?...Or care. I remember when someone did. When someone did care about my words and ideas.

All that matters...

It almost seems that I'm going into writing this with a somewhat paranoid perception. Why should I care who reads this. Why do I even think anyone will? I guess I'll lean more towards, "no one cares" for all intensive blog writing purposes...

I've been keeping a journal more written lately.

That's not normal for my scattered mind, but it helps the focus of my life. Maybe.

I'm not sure what i was intending on writing on this.

I think this is me turning my personal blog into a blog with all my serious thoughts and theories. I wish that one day everyone could read what I have to say about life and the connections to us and everything else. I think I'll start a new blog based about that. Make a new layout screen, try and get some readers, some suggestions.

I'm thinking about just making a website, seems more professional and could turn into something serious. We'll see what happens.

As for this... I'll use it to organize thoughts.

Until we meet again,

Farewell.